When I got
about 20 yards away I was surprised to see it was a dog!
He was “dog
paddling” out in the surf and looked disoriented. The
poor guy was shivering from exposure. There wasn’t a
collar on him. I’m not a “dog person” but
I am a Good Samaritan. I paddled up to the “pooch” feeling
good about the situation and said, in my best baby voice, “You’re
a good boy….I’m here to rescue your ass.” I
thought he would be glad to see me but how would I know because
dogs don’t smile and I couldn’t see his wagging
tail.
I positioned
myself to grab him and take him into shore. This dog was big
as a baby seal and probably weighed close to 20 pounds. I sat
up and pulled him onto my surfboard but he slipped off the
front. He then worked his way clockwise behind me and was now
swimming next to my left knee. I tried one more time to grab
him when, to my surprise, he growled and took a bite at me
and barely missed! I heard the click of his teeth and felt
the lunge of his body. Then he bit into my surfboard on the
rail about two inches from my knee! I heard the crunch of the
fiberglass and felt the damage being done to my surfboard -
it’s that intimacy thing between the surfer and his surfboard.
I swear the dog shook his head side-to-side and his eyes rolled
up like a shark when it attacked. I splashed water at him and
he let go.
“Holy
crap!” I yelled and back paddled to get away from this
vicious “beast.”
I used my
surfboard as a shield between me and the dog but he took another
bite out of the nose of my board! Crunch! He bit down hard
and only let go when I splashed him with more water. I wondered
what this looked like from the shore.
“What
the heck is Glenn doing?” they were probably saying.
Will Arlene hate me for splashing the dog?
Like a shark attack victim, I paddled furiously towards the shore. Roopal and
Dave were watching from about 25 yards away and wondered what the heck was
going on and moved closer. When I was at a safe distance, I collected myself
from the shock of the attack. That dog bit my surfboard twice and just missed
biting my leg! I laughed! Roopal and Dave paddled next to me and I told them
what had happened and they laughed. I realized that they were not “dog
persons” either. The three of us made a 12-foot diameter circle around
the dog, making sure he didn’t drown but not getting close enough to
provoke an attack.
The dog was
giving us a “what now?” look. But, I really felt
he was giving me an “I own you” look.
We were in a classic stare down with the only movement being the swimming dog.
After a while, I tried to “sheepdog” him towards shore but he wouldn’t
have any of it. Instead of being directed he seemed more interested in hassling
me. He was not going to be told what to do by a “non-dog person”……..the
little fucker!
In a few
minutes we saw another surfer paddling out to help us. His
name was Robert. As he neared us we warned him that the dog
bites but he continued to paddle towards the dog. He put his
hand out to test “fido” and, sure enough, the dog
took a bite at him too. Calmly, Robert reached behind the dog’s
neck and grabbed him, thus ensuring that the “attacker” could
not move his head. Then he pulled the dog onto his surfboard
and sat with him. He petted the dog and it seemed to have a
calming effect. I was envious of his understanding of the “monster.” He
was a “dog person.”
Robert proclaimed, “This
is a Chow dog and they can be vicious.” I was thinking, “I
just got attacked in the surf by a Chow dog!”
Robert asked
us to help him get to shore. We awkwardly positioned ourselves
around him and started pushing Robert and the Chow dog. After
a couple of minutes an announcement came from shore. From the
loudspeaker on the lifeguard truck perched atop Calumet Beach
Park overlooking the surf, we heard, “A lifeguard boat
will be here in 3-5 minutes to take the dog – signal
if you can hear us.” We all waved and breathed a sigh
of relief.
I noticed
that a crowd had gathered and wondered if they saw me splashing
the dog. Could I be cited for cruelty to animals?
We saw a
boat speeding towards us from the direction of Crystal Pier
and in a few minutes was pulling alongside Robert and the dog.
Robert warned the two lifeguards, Ed and Rod, that this Chow
dog bites and they had to be careful. In a deftly coordinated “hold
the back of his neck” handoff between Robert and Ed,
the “mutt” was transferred to the boat. Almost
immediately the lifeguards began scrambling as the Chow dog
established his territory on deck. The boat sped off and we
paddled over to Haniman’s to surf.
I had a so-so
surf session. I was preoccupied with what had happened. I went
in about 45 minutes later. Arlene was there with her husband,
Dave. She thanked me. I told them the story of my encounter
with the Chow dog. They laughed uproariously and marveled at
the deep bites on my surfboard. Dave, a surf photographer,
took photos of my surfboard. I told the story to two more friends,
Steve and Jake. More people, who watched the rescue or came
to the park when the lifeguard truck arrived with sirens blowing,
heard the amusing tale.
“Holy
shit” and “damn!” were comments from people
who saw my surfboard.
One guy said, “Chow dogs with purple tongues and curly tails are the
mean ones.” Another quipped, “In China, the Chows were used as
guard dogs because they didn’t bark. They would run up and just started
biting!”
I told them
I was worried that the dog was gonna bite my balls and had
the crowd in stitches.
One resident of the area said that the Chow dog had been on the loose in the
neighborhood for two days. Another added that they saw him swim from around
PB Point to where Arlene spotted him – a distance of a half mile! It
was sounding more like a great fish story.
I wondered
what happened to the dog. |